Im not Ashame to be A Manga Freak

All this while I have been searching for something to trigger my passion and my obsession. I have found it but it is not love or something people normally obsessed about.

but I like it and love it in my own sense.
I am obsessed with Manga.
To the extent that I refuse to care about anything else but reading it.
I neglect my meal, my studies, my sleep, my rest, my bath and even my prayer.
I disregard anything my parents said and continued to loose myself in the fairy tale world of manga.
Regardless of anything being said, I stubbornly convince myself that the manga obsession is okay and I am not affected by it.

It takes me awhile to realize; and only after I have done reading most of it that I realize how miserable my condition is.

I started experiencing massive headache, my appetite degrade, I become nausea whenever I stand up too long and my face is glisten with sweat and oil.

I look horrible and feel the same. I feel like I am in a big,sticky mess I created.

and I need to change and grab hold on my life and took control.
I also learn that what obsession can do to one's life.

but believe it or not I did not completely give up that obsession. I still am obsess with manga.
but I learn to control the obsession. The experience getting caught up in that big, sticky mess become a harsh reminder for me.

In case you are wondering why on earth I still kept that obsession is that. I cannot let go of it. It had become one with me.
Although I was badly affected by manga obsession, I still learn something from reading it just like when you read any books.

I fall in love with the characters
I learn about other cultures
I read about some heart warming motivation
I watch as the hero or heroin refuse to give up and fight till the end
I observe how people love each other, make friends, fight and overcome their fears
I experience events I have never experience

thus, no matter what I refuse to let this obsession go for there is a part of me that will not be the same if I had not had this obsession.

A bad habit

I have a bad habit. A very bad indeed.

It is whenever Once I started on something I refuse to let it go;

When I learn to love someone who does not feel the same, it takes forever for me to move on.
but I did

When I proclaimed a friend to be my best friend, I prevent her from having others as her best friend.
in the end she left

When I join Navy and found out that it is too much for my limit, I stubbornly stay put and wade through it all.
I was able to reach beyond

whenever a task gets too difficult, I tried to run but I always found myself facing it head on.
and finish it

now, when I think I have made a mistake of choosing someone as my guide, I will never change the path I had chose and stick to this guide no matter how hard the road I walk on.
this guide might not be the most ideal guide I imagine and I already felt more lost than ever with her guidance
but,
I refuse to change side because I was the one who chose her in the first place.
maybe I'll get lost more and more in the jungle of confusion and uncertainty
but,
at least I know I will not lose the faith I have in you.

so, please guide me well, teacher.

Is it just a bluff or money really comes that easy nowadays

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PELUANG MENAMBAHKAN PENDAPATAN DARI RUMAH SEBAGAI JURUDATA MEMPROSES DATA PENGIKLANAN (RM300.00 - RM800.00 SEMINGGU)

Salam sejahtera!

Menjelang tahun baru 2010 ini, kami menawarkan pendapatan tambahan kepada seberapa banyak individu yang berminat untuk menambahkan pendapatan dari rumah sebagai

Jurudata Memproses Pengiklanan (Home Based Ads Data Entry )
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Once I opened any web page I was often bombarded with these kind of advertising saying that I could be a millionaire within days by just a flick of my finger or just typing something or trying something on. It was extremely tempting for a full time student like me who had no stable job income. Maybe even for a normal paid worker, this advert might look interesting because people wanted to earn more money. They wanted to buy a new car, some new clothes, a new house or to provide better education for their children. As for me I just like piling more money. Maybe if I join in any of this fast money making job I could earn more money.

But,

here comes the big interrupting word because however tempted I am something still smell fishy because the reality is money is not that easy to make. If they is really a way to earn money that easily why am I spending almost my whole life studying my butt's off and cracking my head cramming those information the teachers and lecturer gave me? Honestly, I have been tricked before and got my RM550 swipe away from me because of one of these skim. Today is a brand new era and people are not as dumb as before so even the swindler, liars and con man have to be even smarter. So, they come up with this brilliant plan of easy job offer with huge pay. They decorated an empty room to look like professional office, some genuine looking paper works, two smiling secretaries, maybe if they are IT capable come up with this convincing web page with some witnesses citing up their comments of success. If I have not been tricked before, I would actually believe all of that but being tricked had it pro's. It made me think twice. So, I think again and look at the advert with its web page and successful case's comments. It suddenly struck me that if I had the right IT skill I can come up with this web page too. Just come up with convincing lines, some pictures of people I don't know of which I can scooped up in Facebook and put some dialogues, some data of estimated successful rates since some people believe in scientific facts and some bold letters to highlight the rewards.

On the second thought maybe these type of advert and easy job offer might be a true easy money making skim...but..not for you but the con men themselves.

I was born a baby

I am not born as a warrior

I do not inherit any wealth

I was not meant to look cool

I was always scared

I was once mistaken as a mute girl

I was born as a baby

with nothing to offer but cries and laughter

but as I grew up I learn

that I cannot be that baby anymore

I had to be a warrior in the battle of life

I had to earn money to live

I have to pretend to look cool

I have to be a lot braver

and I have to talk more

for I am not a baby anymore

It was so easy to hurt

Yes, it is very easy to hurt someone. A flick of the hand to the face, a string of insult, a nasty rumor or an order to do something idiotically stupid. The consequence is to the victim. They by themselves had to bear the pain for days. If the pain subside then thank God everything is fine but what about if a SCAR was left. It will not be easy to remove a scar. Some can be removed by plastic surgery but some other scars haunt you forever. They might not be the usual scar we often seen on the bruised skin but the one inside. The emotional scar can not be removed because it had penetrated deeply into the heart's deepest core. But maybe a sincere apology might sooth the scar away. LIFE is a big risk. We might hurt ourselves trying to survive it but getting hurt because of something stupid is just not worth it. Hope the guilt will last for eternity.

Diving into the World of Dyslexia

Recently, I was given a project to undergo under my Psycholinguistic course. We are required to study subject which are children with disability regarding to learning. I think our group will decide on doing the autism syndrome. I will agree with them. But I actually prefer to do on Dyslexia. The children with this syndrome have difficulties mainly in reading and writing.

People often mistaken these special children as idiots, imbecile, stupid, lazy and some other interpretations 'normal and able' people seem to give to these children. The truth is that they are all willing to study and very hardworking but they have problem in their brain which hinder the learning process. What they are thought are different from what their brain register. So often they are frustrated because nothing they do seem right to the teachers or the parents. I believe they wanted to be like any normal children who can impress their teachers by giving the right answer or receiving compliments for doing a good job from their parents.

I believe that the Dyslexia person live in a different world from the 'normal' human being. The term 'normal' is actually very ambiguous.

What is 'NORMAL'?

We think something is normal when most of the people agree that that is the true convention, that is what life should be, that is what people should wear, that is how we are suppose to eat. That is normal for them. So, what about the minority who do not agree with the 'normal ways' and see things and life in an opposite way. What about the people who look different? Should they be alienated from our 'perfect and normal' world? Can't these two different and opposite worlds live together side by side?

If the Dyslexia person can not understand the normal writing and reading convention why can't we invent a new language and sound that they understand for them. If we can't accept them into our 'normal and perfect' world why can't we at least strengthen the bond between our worlds so they can have a better world?


What do you think?

I Am AddICTed 2 Chocolate

Recently I realize something. I can get bored with something easily. I am bored with my current perfume. I stop crazing for Bliss Straberry drink. I tried to taste 5 new different ice creams from Walls over my usuall Tropicana. My fav mangas are starting to sound boring and chicken started to taste funny on my tongue. These phenomenas proof that after some time even our favorite things and craving become boring and uninteresting.

But among all of the boring list I list out, one thing remain the same. I am still and forever addicted to Chocolate. For a chocholic I cannot be seperated from Chocolate. Our existence interwine each other. I will always crave for Chocolate.

The Chocolate that I had lost.