Im not Ashame to be A Manga Freak

All this while I have been searching for something to trigger my passion and my obsession. I have found it but it is not love or something people normally obsessed about.

but I like it and love it in my own sense.
I am obsessed with Manga.
To the extent that I refuse to care about anything else but reading it.
I neglect my meal, my studies, my sleep, my rest, my bath and even my prayer.
I disregard anything my parents said and continued to loose myself in the fairy tale world of manga.
Regardless of anything being said, I stubbornly convince myself that the manga obsession is okay and I am not affected by it.

It takes me awhile to realize; and only after I have done reading most of it that I realize how miserable my condition is.

I started experiencing massive headache, my appetite degrade, I become nausea whenever I stand up too long and my face is glisten with sweat and oil.

I look horrible and feel the same. I feel like I am in a big,sticky mess I created.

and I need to change and grab hold on my life and took control.
I also learn that what obsession can do to one's life.

but believe it or not I did not completely give up that obsession. I still am obsess with manga.
but I learn to control the obsession. The experience getting caught up in that big, sticky mess become a harsh reminder for me.

In case you are wondering why on earth I still kept that obsession is that. I cannot let go of it. It had become one with me.
Although I was badly affected by manga obsession, I still learn something from reading it just like when you read any books.

I fall in love with the characters
I learn about other cultures
I read about some heart warming motivation
I watch as the hero or heroin refuse to give up and fight till the end
I observe how people love each other, make friends, fight and overcome their fears
I experience events I have never experience

thus, no matter what I refuse to let this obsession go for there is a part of me that will not be the same if I had not had this obsession.

A bad habit

I have a bad habit. A very bad indeed.

It is whenever Once I started on something I refuse to let it go;

When I learn to love someone who does not feel the same, it takes forever for me to move on.
but I did

When I proclaimed a friend to be my best friend, I prevent her from having others as her best friend.
in the end she left

When I join Navy and found out that it is too much for my limit, I stubbornly stay put and wade through it all.
I was able to reach beyond

whenever a task gets too difficult, I tried to run but I always found myself facing it head on.
and finish it

now, when I think I have made a mistake of choosing someone as my guide, I will never change the path I had chose and stick to this guide no matter how hard the road I walk on.
this guide might not be the most ideal guide I imagine and I already felt more lost than ever with her guidance
but,
I refuse to change side because I was the one who chose her in the first place.
maybe I'll get lost more and more in the jungle of confusion and uncertainty
but,
at least I know I will not lose the faith I have in you.

so, please guide me well, teacher.