Declaring my LOVE to JAPANESE

If you love someone, how do you declare your love to your loved one?
shout or scream your declaration of love?
I don't know about you but I'' declare it by writing about it

I LOVE JAPANESE.....language


No, its not a person but the Japanese language


My lecturer had once said if I really want to learn any language and become fluent in it I had live with the language.

NO it doesn't mean that I have to carry with me my language books with me 24/7. It mean that I have to use the language not only in class when I'm studying but also through my everyday life.

''You have to speak in it, listen to it, write in it, read about it and at the end of the day if you also dream in it then you have become a fluent user of the language'' my lecturer said.

Usually people will try to remember what they are dreaming about but I am not so sure they ever try to remember what language their dream is.

If I remember correctly most of my dream is in Malay, my mother tongue but once in a while it could occur in English but I have never experience a dream in Japanese.

Another person said that "you have to eat the food the country of the language you are learning''
for example if I want to be fluent in English I have to eat the English food such chicken chop, burger and other Western food. Well if it is true Malaysian people have been eating these Western food for ages so Malaysian English should be at a very high level ,right? I don't know.

Maybe it means that I had to try to understand the culture of Japanese people through their food such as takoyaki, sushi and tea. Learning and living in the language may help me improve my language. I think soooooo......

''securing'' the bad sides

I learn the term ''secure'' from my navy training which means ''make something disappear from view''. You can ''secure'' almost anything; garbage, books, unwanted things, cat (?), dust, precious things and even people. Sometime this ''securing'' last only a short time. Most of the time you ''secure'' things you don't want others to see such as; your mom, grandma, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, lecturer or even your superior ...shhhh...don't tell them I'm telling this to you. This is a sacred secret between you and me<(^o^)>

But there is another thing you could ''secure''. It's your bad side. I was painfully taught that I should be tidy,clean and neat 24/7. There should be no speck of dust on my table..buhuhu..(the dust hates me)....the bed should look like nobody had slept in it (where am I gonna sleep?)...and etc. etc. etc.

I tried my best to maintain my room to look neat and clean 24/7 but frankly speaking I am the lazy and messy person. But I still had to maintain my room! So, what am I going to do??

I used the things they taught me. I secured my bad sides and show only my good sides. It doesn't mean that I am a two face or two personality person who look kind and innocent in front but a devil at the back. It is just that when you enter my room, at one glance it will appear clean and tidy with no dust or garbage. But if you start poking around you will notice the messiness ''secured'' everywhere. My drawer is all cluttered with all kind of things; books,pencil, paper, Maggie(?), coins and etc.etc.etc. Not to mention the closet is a disaster. I will not try to describe its condition for your own comfort.

My point here is that, I was born like this. A little bit messy and lazy. It is who I am. I tried my best to fulfill the standard given by the society, my mother, grandma, or my superior but the person they wanted me to be is not me. I need a little messiness in my life but I have to do it while keeping up with others expectation.

One silly mistake and the world could turn around you

I tried my hardest to be just and fair but maybe I tend to look over something. As I went through my everyday life, I notice changes and things. I look upon those changes from my point if view.

There was one incident which had puzzled me so deeply. I am amaze about how the world can turn away from someone because of one or two mistakes. It strikes me that the life I live in is in very shaky and precariously balancing. If one day I did something stupid there is a possibility that that safe world would be crushed. People turning their back upon other people, judging others as they like and etc.

It may not be my place to say this is wrong or right because people operate in different ways. The things I see as right might seems wrong in their eyes and the thing I believe to be wrong is right for them.

I am merely pointing out how I see the world. I tried my hardest to be fair and kind not because I was born kind but because I know how much it hurt and I do not want anyone I consider as loved one to feel the same.

Words are spining spining

have you ever felt that you cant take anything anymore?
i heard about people blaming each other
one side said the other while the other said something totally opposite
it is a childish play of words

have you ever listen how the kids fight?
read the papers read hear the news you can see and hear small children fighting with each others
one side cant take another side criticizing them and vice verse
it was useless to try to take sides or to say with side is wrong or right
for in their fight to defend themselves
they totally step over the boundary between right and wrong, good or bad, emotion and reason

words are being used and misused
jumbled between truth, lies, hatred and mistrust
they will say they are right for that is what they believe
and I will say what is wrong is wrong for that is what I believe
what do you believe?

Siapa yang makan pedas dia yang terasa

Something my lecturer said in class triggered this malay saying in my mind. She said that the writers who wrote any books will state that anything he wrote in the book is fiction and have no connection with the leaving or the dead and if it did it will be a coincidence.

I have never understand or take any notice of such things before but lately I began to understand why the writers wrote all that.

It is because the reader especially in the writer social circle might felt that the story or the mocking comments in the book is about them and began criticizing the author although it might or might not be about them.

the reader merely read a story and decide for themselves that the story is about them and sue the writer

the funny things I realize about this saying is that if the someone is one who usually and like spicy things didn't that someone can no longer feel the spiciness (only if he consume a whole bowl of spices)

so I am going to state clearly here that any of my written works or writings is not related to anyone alive or dead and if there is it is only a mere coincidence. I am not afraid of criticizes or even if people want to ban my writings.

criticize me all you want, disagree with me, contradict my views, comment on my mistakes, let me see your point of argument for by doing that only can I improve.

The cat named fifi and the mouse named miki

this is my version of story about why the cat and mouse fight with each other

this is a story about fifi the cat and miki the mouse. this two are very good friend. one day miki overheard fifi telling bobo the rabbit about a mouse she was annoyed and furious about. miki, believing that fifi only knows a mouse in her whole entire life which is himself then felt furious at fifi. miki felt that fifi is trying to humiliate and talking bad about him. miki quickly concluded that the whole conversation is about him. miki then out of anger began to tell everyone about the incident.telling how fifi is not being a good friend.

fifi the cat was shocked when she heard about the things miki had told about her. she tried to explain that the mouse she had been talking about is a horrid mouse who steal her food at night which she did not told miki for she didnt want to talk bad about his own species to him.

miki the mouse refuse to listen and tell fifi is not a good friend. fifi was very sad and angry for being misunderstood upon.

until now, because miki didnt want to listen the two friends are not on good terms.

that is my version of story why cat and mouse are fighting. if you like the story or want to say something about it please comment it below so I can improve it.

thank you.

A view from the hooting owl

I live at night cause my days are gone in slumber.
As a lay awake during the dark I become the witness and watcher over things the day will look over,

I saw the moon yawning in the sky sometime hiding herself between the cloud if she notice I was watching,
I saw the house rat going rampage about fighting about the last piece of crumbs,
I saw the last minute bird who is lost finding a place to sleep

I feel the air turning cold covering the earth with a dewy blanket,
I feel the chill freeze of silence
I feel the presence of nothingness

I heard the echoes of chirping cricket getting lost in a battle of sound
I heard the wind lazy blows through the creasing leaves
I heard the deafening emptiness broken once in a while by the nervous steps of hungry squirrel

so please forgive this hooting owl if its view is not perfect for even it watches over the night it overlook the day

At Each Others Throat

what I can imagine from this term is a scene when two people or more are grabbing each others throat trying to shake and squeeze the air out of the others. It can also means that both parties are at a disagreement and are shouting at the top of their voice to make the other party understand them.

maybe the person who coin this term had a violent and vivid imagination or had just survive one of the heated argument which had turn physical and decide to to come up with this term.

whatever the reason is or why this term or quote or famous sentence was created, it mean one thing to me which is it was very tiring and frustrating to make other people understand you or accept your opinion.

people hold different perspectives, view, belief, another way of looking things and sometime we tend to bump into someone who hold another totally different view from us.

sometime, if you are lucky that person might be an understanding person who will stop for a while and reflect on your point before considering whether to accept or reject it.

but because people are diverse, some cant accept their view being criticize. It is like their own worth had been criticize and they bare their fangs to defend their views.

in short people are different. I am different and so are you.

Let me fall and get hurt

Let me fall down and get hurt,
Let me make make a mistake,
Let me wander a different road,
Let me take the risk,

because you had taught me long ago that

if I fall down I should wipe the tears, patch my knee and stand up again,

if I make a mistake I should learn from it and vow that I will never do it again,

if I should get lost I can always find my way back again,

and if the thing I choose is risky I am stubborn enough to face it head on.

so, please do not worry.
I am a big girl now

A tainted writings

I have said before that your writing is your own world where you can write everything you want...but.. I am sorry I need to warn you that not all of the writing is good

I am not talking about the grammar or word structure but the messages it bring.

Just like not all of the things are good, some things are bad too.

Some writings can motivate you, make you feel warm inside, make you laugh, make you remember about your loved one, make you want to learn about yourself more, inspire you to do things and also to give you courage.

Those are what good writings can bring to you...but,

There are some who writes intending to hurt someone, to humiliate, to breed hatred, to infest the readers thought with prejudice, doubt and malice so that the reader will take side with the writer no matter who is at fault.

Here writing and words are used to start a war and I am disgust with it.

I love writing and reading others works but I warn you that some writing can bring nothing but misery to the readers

So, stop misusing the words for your own selfish pride.